We all created in the Image of God. Deborah was talking about this being one of the topics that she really enjoyed at the clash. Well, I knew that, I mean I’ve heard it before, but never have I actually really thought about what that means.
It means that aside from all of the sin in my life there are things about me, my personality, my interests, my thoughts, my activities that actually glorigy God, just because that is how he made me (I hope this is making sense). Well, as I have been ponderign this, I was trying to think about what things about me glorify God. Deborah mentioned how she so enjoys creative things. Painting, taking pictures etc… All of those things are glorigying to God because she really enjoys doing the things that God has given her a passion for.
Well… I have just been so depressed. I have realized that I have programed myself and trained myself to think nothing good of myself because that would make me conceited and arrogant and selfish, all things that are not pleasing to God. So as I have been thinking about how BIG of a sinner I am and how gross and unworthy I am of everything I have and have been blessed with, I have been basically been saying, God this creation (me) that you have made.. is stupid, its ugly, its discusting. How did this happen? How can I basically say, Christs death is not good enough.
I started trying to find the good things in me. My friends might be able to and my family, but i cant see it in my self and I have been condeming myself and hating myself. Gods precious child. So anyway… after realizing all of this, I talked to my friend Kate and she told me to just read and pray over Romans 8 (one of my favorite books by the way). Here are a few versus that have really been halping me:
1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.
The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
9 You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. 10 But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.
Essentially, I have been feeling dead. I have been having active quiet times and devotions with the Lord and I have been faithfully praying but something was just not right.
This reminder has just helped me to realize.. yup I am a sinner, yup I am always going to be a sinner but God loves me and wants me to be happy and take care of myself for him. To honor him in all I do and in all of my thoughts. Though it seems simple and something that we always hear… I just thought someone else might be struggling with the same thing. If not, you could be praying for me. That I would just feel loved by God and that I would not continue putting myself down, knowing Im sinning and repenting yes.. but not knocking down the very thing God has made for himself and in his image. PS: Sorry if any typos
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