A few months ago while shopping at Target, I noticed a fabulous pregnant woman walking in front of me. I remember thinking “Man, why can’t I ever think of putting outfits together like that?”. We ended up crossing paths in the diaper department and somehow got to chatting.
After talking about our girls (we both had one in our carts about the same age) and discussing the future arrival of our second, she suggested that we exchange information and get together for a play date. This is what I thought: ” What? Are you serious? Someone this interesting, fashionable and beautiful wants to get together with me? I do happen to look the worst I ever have today and she wants to hang out?! Wow! This is so exciting”. It kind of felt like the first time I was asked on a date by a guy whom I wasn’t pursuing first (HaHa).
That information was really besides the point of my story but I thought you would find it funny…
We did get together and we have hung out a few times since then. This girl really is fabulous. She is probably one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met. She dresses so cool and her house is perfectly cute. She is talented in many ways; she is a musician, she makes her children’s clothes, she is super crafty and creative, a vegetarian… pretty much one of those girls that make you think “is there anything you aren’t good at?”.
But, you know what, she is one of the most down to earth people I have ever met as well. So non judgemental and very laid back (obviously since she asked some rugged looking chick on a play-date at Target)!
As of late I have really been struggling with discontentment. You might look at me and think “why would she be discontent”? Well, I have been discontent and particularly with “things”. Most people who have stay-at-home wives /mothers do it because they can afford not to have two working parents. This is not entirely true with us. It is a struggle. We get by and we are never in need but we really have to be wise with our money. We can’t do as many things or have as many things as others. It is challenging but so worth the sacrifice.
Because of our situation, it is easy to want and covet and feel like “I don’t have anything”. None of my clothes fit and they are out of style. I really need a new vacuum and new curtains and I would like… you name it, I want it. I have even been thinking about getting a part-time job so that I can buy all of these unnecessary wants. Seems simple but what is really happening is that I am willing to give in to these things, take time away from my family so I can buy more. I mean, isn’t that what our culture is really about? More. More. More. Gotta have it. Yes, you need it. WRONG!
What I have learned through my new friend is that it is ok to live simply. You do not “need” all of these things. Use what you have. Appreciate what you have. She really lives this way and cultivates this lifestyle. After talking with her and being with her, I realize how much I do have and how much I have begun to take on society’s way of thinking. I covet and want when really, I have MORE than enough. So what, my shoes are out of style- did you know in other countries it is really hard to come by a good pair of shoes <sarcastic tone>? But seriously, we hear these stories and “know” about what goes on but when do we actually think about it and become grateful for what we have? Clearly more than most people.
What is wrong with me. I know, completely normal but why should this be normal? Why is it okay? What are we so greedy and lustful?
You know the saying; give a man a fish he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for life (something like that?)? Well that is how I should be investing my time, money and energy. What am I teaching my children by always wanting? If Lucy wants something, she should save HER money and buy it or, use what she has, or, make it.
I think the first step for me is to really start appreciating what I/we have. I have so much and have been blessed in so many ways.
All of this I know is easier said than done. But boy, am I grateful for new friends. I hope that I can inspire someone in a positive way someday as she has inspired me.
Who cares what the world thinks about me.
What is truly important in life?
And, also, my new friend has taught me that you can be glamorous and simple at the same time. I just have to figure out how she does it…
<wink>
Disclaimer: I realize my writing skills have been diminishing due to my sleep deprivation. Forgive me. They will return in time. Thanks for reading anyway!
=)
janetsplanetblog.com 
Hi Janet! I love reading your Janets Planet stories! You are very wise for your young age! I usually don’t comment on many things – especially when the people I want to comment on are so much younger than I – I don’t want to be that weird older lady who makes comments (my kids would be mortified if I actually commented on things as much as I would like to lol) but your thoughts above struck a chord with me. I, too, have been feeling discontent – for much different reasons, mind you, but discontent nonetheless. I too feel the pull of wanting so much more than what I actually need. Being a recent “empty nester” has been a eye opening experience. Somehow I thought when the kids were off starting their own lives that I would become this jack-of-all-trades, being able to cook fancy dinners every night for me and Mr. Brian, redecorate the house to accommodate our new empty nest and keep it spotless everyday and be able to take off on fun weekends on a whim with noone to answer to. I had it all planned out, I would have so much extra time to exercise and eat healthy because all I would have to concentrate on was myself…. Well, I am here to tell you – this just hasn’t happened. First of all, I had NO idea how hard it would be financially to have two kids in college at the same time. Fancy dinners, redecorating and taking off for weekends cost money! On top of that – I am struggling to figure out what my place is in this world now that I am no longer an active “mommy” – I realize I have no clue on how to live my life not being in this role anymore! Along with that, I too need new shoes, I’ve gained weight so my already out of style clothes barely fit and the house is clean, but definitely not redecorated! Sometimes all of these things together get me down. But then, as you so elegantly pointed out above – so what! Look what I DO have – I have been married to the same wonderful man for almost 22 years, I have two FABULOUS children who are making something of themselves and in the process making their father and I SO proud!, a house that is comfortable and welcoming to everyone – based on the number of teenagers and young adults that still come around – even though our kids don’t live her anymore and SO WHAT if my shoes are a little scuffed and I desperately need some new furniture and a couple coats of paint on some walls in my house!
Yes, you have it exactly right! Be appreciative for what you have and encourage others to think the same way! When you die people aren’t going to remember what you had, what your shoes looked like or how your house was decorated. They are going to remember the person you are!
Keep being the wonderful mommy and person you are Janet! And by the way, you have an absolutely adorable family! You ARE blessed!!
Mrs. Barb,
Thank you so much for commenting- Very encouraging and also insightful. It keeps me interested in writing when what I write effects others. And, since I “worked” for you once, I think you have permission to comment without “K” having a problem with it. Ha-Ha. =)