I’m Two and Kind of Terrible

Hello. I’m Abram. Aren’t I cute? Yeah, I know. I know how to work it.

Do you like my shirt? I prefer to wear clothes that only have balls on them. My Mom tries to get me to wear other types of clothing (you know, like stripes or shirts with words- yuck!) but I give her a fit until she finds something I like.

You know what else I like to do? Eat. I love to eat. I am always “hungey”. My Mom tries to get me to eat healthy stuff but I refuse to eat until she finally gives me cereal. It would have been a whole lot easier on her if she had just given me what I wanted in the first place!

My Mom, I love that lady. In fact, I love her so much that when other kids (like my Sister) try to play with her or sit on her lap, I push them off or yell and cry until there is room for me. I know she is great and all but she is all MINE! Well, except when she tries to put clothes on me… then I run from her.

Oh man. This is the funniest thing. I just figured out how to shoot snot out of my nose. My Mom HATES it when I do that. If I really want to make her mad, after she like, makes me put on my seat belt or tells me “no”, I just snot everywhere. It’s awesome.

I hate the Dr. My Mom tried to take me there to get a check-up (why do I need a check-up? I’m Fine!). OH NO! I was not having it! I know what they do there. They like, take my temperature and like, make me stand on this thing that tell my Mom how much food I’ve been eating. Don’t worry, I figured out how to get out of there right quick. I basically just scream and cry and yell and shake and kick and yell until everyone leaves me alone. I thought it was a good idea but my Mom was NOT happy! She told Dad that he had to take me to the Dr. from now on. I guess I should have thought that one through.

The girls in my house can’t understand why I like to beat things up so much. I mean, who doesn’t like a good fight? Why would God make me so strong if I wasn’t allowed to hit anyone? They don’t get it.

Also, I met this girl. She’s pretty cool I guess. Her name is Anna. She likes to build Snowmen and ride bikes around the hallway. That is so cool. Mom doesn’t let me see her that much even though I ask her everyday. That’s okay. I have a recording of her singing that I get to listen to in the car when I “do a good job”… whatever that means. She’s my favorite.

You know what else is my favorite? Fish! I just turned two and my Mom and Dad took me to the big place that has all of the fish. You know, where Nemo lives! I love it there! They have BIG SHARKS!  And Nemo! Please Mom… I want to “SEE FISH”!

I better go now. My Sister wants me to go jump on the bed with her. I might go chase the dog. Oooo, maybe I will go sneak some goldfish. Or sneak my binky out of my bed. Or poop. Who knows, I can do whatever I want! I run this joint!