Before I had experienced any significant losses of my own, I thought I did a pretty good job of supporting others with my words of encouragement.
When I was on the other side of loss, I realized how unhelpful, and sometimes unintentionally hurtful, some “supportive” comments can be.
For those of you that I have tried to encourage with my un-empathetic comments, I truly apologize. I hope you know my intentions were in love, even if it didn’t feel that way.
I was in a training last week where we discussed Sympathy vs Empathy and it was SO helpful. I want to love others and appropriately care for them in their times of trial. I want to come along side you and truly care for you, instead of negatively contributing to your experience.
Watch this video- its both comical and helpful.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I like a little “silver lining”, and a different perspective can be very helpful in some situations.
I think for myself in general- if I have never been in someone else’s shoes who may be experiencing more of a “serious situation”, or if I am not particularly close to someone that I want to send encouragement to, its probably best for me to stick with empathy.
And just to reiterate- many, many, many of you have loved me so well through the last couple of years. I can not thank you enough for your examples in empathy, love and care.
=)
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15
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