“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

James 1:2-4 (NIV)

I am not sure if you are like me or not but I certainly DO NOT count it joy when I face trials, of any kind! I do not like it. I’m mad and I just do not understand why I have to be going through a trial. I mean really.

Within the past few months we have had to deal with some pretty significant trials. So many trials that it is almost comical anytime something else happens.

Honestly, I am surprised at my attitude lately. Normally, I would tell you that I am pretty good at trusting God when comes a trial. I know just what to do and how to handle it and no matter what, God will provide and he will take care of us. For some reason, I have had a completely different attitude in my heart and though I still feel that way, I am bitter that he is allowing this season of trials. Maybe not bitter per-say, but definitely not happy. More Whiney.

But just because I am a Christian or you might say “a good person”, doesn’t mean I am exempt from trouble coming my way. In fact, the Bible says “Count it all joy WHEN you face trials…” not “IF you face trials”.  Trials will come. But how will you handle it WHEN it does? Will you be steadfast? Am I being steadfast?

What does it mean to be “steadfast”? Loyal, faithful, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, reliable, steady, true, constant, staunch, solid, trusty, firm and unwavering.

So, when I am going through a trial and my faith is being tested, am I turning from God? Am I trusting in the created rather than the Creator? Am I still devoting myself to God despite my circumstances? Do I cling to God to carry me through these trials?

Or, do I turn away and reject God? Do I blame others? Do I blame God? Do I run to worldly things for satisfaction and refuge from my trial? Do I waver in my faith and question God’s goodness?

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

For me, the verse above is encouragement to keep going. Keep  fighting. Trust God no matter what because he will bring me through whatever trial I am going through. If I am tempted to turn, REMAIN STEADFAST! You will face trials Janet, will you still love me through them? I still love you.

 I have questioned God and been mad. I have not questioned his capability to provide or question his love towards me. After experiencing many difficulties and trying situations, I have seen God’s goodness countless times. He has faithfully provided more times than I can count. I know I do not need to worry, he has my back.

Even when I feel this way (able to trust Him), I can still not feel loved through these situations (human nature I guess…), but the Bible tells me that he does love me, no matter what.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39

As we are starting to come out of the other end of our situation, I can see the light and how God has provided and loved us through our circumstances. How he has cared for me even when I was hardening my heart. We can’t always know the answer to “why” but we can always trust. Because no matter what, God loves us and wants what is best for us, even if we don’t see that what he thinks is good, is actually good. You know, we always think we know what is best for us but that is not always accurate. God has a plan and a purpose for us, far better than we can imagine.

So in short, this trial, these situations and circumstances, are for my good. They are shaping me and molding me and revealing my sinful heart and… it is a joy that God is shaping me to be more like Christ, more like him. It might hurt, I might not like it, but it is good.  And in that, I can find joy.

So, here is some interesting news…

Ryan and I will be hosting an Exchange Student for the entire 2015/2016 school year. What? I know. Weird right? Who does that.

I thought I should tell you in case you started wondering if we had adopted a teenage boy into our Family.

We kind of did.

You might be wondering why we decided to do it. There are many reasons.

1. No, we are not getting paid- there is absolutely no financial incentive. In fact, we will actually have to provide for this child in some ways (not all).

2. We love people and we want our children to love people. All kinds of people.

3. We believe that we as Americans can get caught up in our little “American bubble”. There is so much more to life and our world than what we see here day-in and day-out. We want our Children (and ourselves) to be exposed to different cultures and people groups and gain a respect and understanding for such things. We think it will be a very eye-opening experience for all of us.

4. There is another BIG reason, but for personal reasons, I can not write about it on the internet. But if you ask me in person I would be glad to tell you all about it. As a blanket answer, it is a Christian reason. <wink>

Once we get permission from our “Son” (ha-ha), I can post more details about him. What I can tell you is that I have already learned so much about our different cultures and language (and geography!) in preparing for his arrival and figuring out how to make such a huge transition more comfortable for all of us. It has definitely already been a learning experience and we are all so excited to see how our lives will be changed because of this.

Some have asked if we have and worries or reservations. Of course! For one, I have never had to raise a teenage boy before. I mean Ryan was one, and I have kissed a few in my past, but never have I had to care for one. I am sure that in itself will be a different experience.  How much will my grocery bill increase? How will our children adjust to their new Family member?

Also, I’m sure there will be a great deal of cultural differences that we are unaware of. And language barriers. This boy is proficient in English, he had to pass an exam to qualify for the program, but knowing English and being completely submersed in it are two totally different things.

So, that is all I have to share with you for you now.

*Guten Tag 😉

One of the reasons I kept this blog going five years ago was to use it as my Baby Book. Now I am slightly regretful because if I ever want to know something I have to search through 100s of posts. I should have started printing them all out as I wrote them. If you ever want to give me an amazingly thoughtful gift… go through the Lucy and Abram section of my Blog and print out all of my posts about them and chronologically bind them together. Oh man, I will love you foreverrrrr!

So I just wanted to write a few things on here about Abram at 2 1/2.

I Love You = I Luff You!

The Grinch= Minch

May I watch a movie please?= Watch movie peas?

You are now in a “big boy” bed. Sometimes you sleep well in it, sometimes you do not. I was apprehensive to get rid of the crib because you slept so well in it but I wanted to get you into a big bed before I start potty training you this summer. So, it had to be done. When I asked you why you wouldn’t stay in your bed your response was “too big”.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, somehow turns into a gun. You are going to be one of those kids sent home from school because you pointed your String Cheese at the teacher and started making shooting noises. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. All I can say is that you are a boy and with boys come dirt, poop and guns. Naturally.

No, we don’t watch violent TV shows. Well, Jake does carry a pirate sword… not sure if that counts.

You love dinosaurs and bugs. Cars. Sports. Snacks. Mosley (he is your BFF and you hug and kiss him before we leave the house and when we come home). Bath time.

We went bowling for the first time recently. You kept saying “really fun Mom! I like bowling!”. It was really sweet and cute and it made me happy that you could express how you felt about it.

You REALLY dislike wearing your seatbelt and being told “no”.

You like to sneak into my purse and steal gum, coins and my phone. You are like a little Houdini. I don’t know how you succeed at this so often but you just get right in there and take what you want. I often find the purse or the  wrappers on the floor and you hiding in the corning looking incredibly guilty.

You LOVE Pizza and cereal. Both are equally your favorite foods. I found a vegetable that you will eat and that is cucumbers.

You are so loving, affectionate and sweet. You are persistent. You are energetic. You are a master manipulator. You are generous, silly and passionate.

You love the books Dinosaur Roar! and The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything. You love the mini films based off of the books called Gruffalo and The Gruffalo Child. You like Jake and The Neverland Pirates and VeggieTales. Finding Nemo, Frozen and The Grinch. Your favorite songs that you make me sing every night before bed are Jesus Loves Me, Skinnamarinky-dinky-dink (you call this song “I luff me”) and the B-I-B-L-E.

And when you pray before meals and before bed you also pray that “Jesus watch Nemo”.

I can really see your individual personality coming out more and more and your thoughts are being communicated more clearly. It is really cool and exciting to hear you express your opinions and ideas vocally. You say some really funny things and I am so glad they are not just stuck in your head anymore.

Oh, and you may have been my second born but you are not my “#2”. You are equally my number one.

=)

Oh yeah, and I just love how you always come find me to hand me the boogers you just picked out of your nose. And how you always go into the basement for privacy when you have to poop.

And one more thing. You absolutely, without a doubt, LOOOOOOVE snow! Love it. You have been outside helping Daddy “shuvohling” every time it has snowed. It is really hard to get you inside when there is snow on the ground.

I have never, ever felt beautiful.

I am a rare breed. I have red hair, freckles and pale skin. I have dark under-eye circles, crooked teeth and I walk like a duck.

Don’t worry, my peers never let me forget about all of my flaws.

Most of my childhood was spent questioning why I was made to look the way I did. There were exactly 3.2  Redheads in my school at any given time. All of my friends could tan and most of them had the “privilege” of getting braces during those awkward Middle School years.

In High School I lost a bunch of weight and started gaining more attention so I attributed beauty with being skinny. Though thin, I still didn’t get the same attention from boys as my blonde and brunette friends. Surprisingly, I never died my hair. I thought about it NUMEROUS times but was afraid it would look terrible and I wouldn’t be able to dye it back to my original color if I didn’t like it.

It probably has only been in the past couple of years that I actually have begun to appreciate the uniqueness of the way I look and the way God made me.  I like that I have red hair. I like my freckles. My crooked teeth are not as noticeable as I once thought. They make amazing make-up for those dark-circles and I still try to fix my feet when I notice them getting lazy.

>Rabbit Trail…

This is the thing. I get SUPER pissed when people judge others for the way they look. I 100% hate the way people talk about being fat and skinny and if they think other people are fat and skinny.

I wanted to write this because I want everyone to know that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  You are! You were made perfectly you. You are perfectly unique. There is no one else like you and that is a good thing!

Now, I am not saying  that it is not important to take care of yourself and your body. There are ways you can hurt your body and your health but you do not have to have a cookie cutter body type to be beautiful.

I know that this can be a hard thing not only for children growing up but for women who have just had babies. I am reading a book called “Loving the Little Years” by Rachel Jancovic. She wrote something that I thought was very helpful;

“…Motherhood is what your stomach was made for- and any wear and tear that it shows is simply the sign of well-used tools. We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were given to us to use. So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully. When you are working hard to lose baby weight, think of it as tool maintenance. You want to fix your body up in order to use it some more. Maybe to have more children or to take care of the children you have… Scars and stretch marks and muffin tops are all part of your kingdom work. ”

Take this as you will but I found this encouraging as a mother with both stretch marks and scars. How do you hide this? You don’t- you wear them proudly.

One more point I would like to make is that God does NOT make any mistakes.

For a long time, even until recently, I may have been content with the way I looked, but really I thought that God just forgot a few things.

1. My frame was not hidden from you
       when I was made in the secret place,
       when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
      Your eyes saw my unformed body;
       all the days ordained for me were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.  Proverbs 139:15-16
2. “God in His love always wills what is best for us. In His wisdom He always knows what is best, and in His sovereignty He has the power to bring it about.”
   ― Jerry Bridges, Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts    

SO, basically God made us the way he thought best for us. He made us and knew us before the beginning of the earth. He didn’t forget anything. We were made perfectly by His design (He as in the one who created the Universe).

I am not perfect. I still compare myself. It is still a struggle.  BUT, I want to believe it. I want you to believe it.

Be kind to one another. Stop being hard on yourself. It’s okay to be different. BE DIFFERENT! Embrace your flaws.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.